I’m so exhausted, but I’m writing anyway. After the exhausting, not fun, day of being a mommy I had you would think that all I would do at this point is curl up in a ball and not move until absolutely needed, but I’m not, I’m writing. I’ve decided that writing really, truly is my outlet. Today I decided that no matter how stressful the day, I need to write at some point throughout it. Writing keeps me sane, makes me smile, and takes me out of the rut that sometimes motherhood can put you in.
Before I had Aubrey (my new baby girl), I stressed about my numbers, how high my rank was, how many (or little) books I was selling each and every day. I worried if this gig- writing was really for me. I almost gave up. I just may have said, “maybe I’m one of those authors- the ones that write a few books but really shouldn’t because they’re not TRUE authors- they just did it just because.” Yes, I really thought that, but I don’t believe that anymore because whether my books suck and no one reads them or not, I have to write. I don’t care if I am a good, bad, or mediocre writer- I am an author, and I will keep writing because it keeps me sane. It’s a time that I can just flood my emotions into several characters and no one can say a damn thing to me about it because they’re mine- I created them, and they provide me with an escape that nothing in this world could ever replace.
Now that I am a mother of 3, and sometimes ask myself why the hell would I add another human being to this crazy world I call my life, I realize, for other reasons too of course, what a blessing it is. That even though I may cry somedays from being so overwhelmed, it has given me peace of mind. Who the hell cares how many people buy my books, or how much money I make off of them, I write for me. I write for my sanity. I write for no other reason, but to maintain my individuality and happiness.
So yeah, I will still read reviews, and hope that people buy and enjoy the books that I write, but when it comes down to it, it won’t be detrimental to me like it used to be because in the end, I’ll keep on writing anyway!Read More »